We’ve been watching the latest Clarkson controversy with interest here at CAP. Mainly wondering whether, if he does get the chop, we might get scouted and be asked to step in and rag the latest supercar to perfection every week.

But, because it’s probably not going to be us (we’re busy anyway) we’d give these potential replacements a thought:

Rowan Atkinson – closet petrolhead?
Almost the fastest celebrity in a reasonably priced car – in second place by a tenth of a second – Atkinson has only recently sold his McLaren F1. Despite admitting that most of its miles since 1997 have been racked up on shopping trips and school runs, and that “to pootle is a pleasure”, he’s tried it out on the track and crashed it twice, too. We’d like to see which way this one goes.

Boris Johnson, on superior car quotes alone:
"Your car will go faster, your girlfriend will have a bigger bra size. It's an attested fact that, under Conservative governments, the quality of living of the British people has immeasurably improved, leading to better denticians, higher calcium consumption, leading inexorably to superior mammary development."

Jeremy Paxman
We imagine the prospect of a frank Sunday night review a la Paxman – who must long to interrogate something other than a politician once in a while - could make a few car manufacturer press officers very nervous.

Whether this latest mishap, which follows Clarkson’s ‘final warning’ from show bosses, will spell the end of the presenter trio or not, we think he could excel in the following alternative jobs:

Chef
After this tweet from his daughter a mere half day after his suspension, we can only assume his kitchen creations are so irresistible that they play havoc on the waistline: